Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
