Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
please don't ironically join a cult
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