I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
