drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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