Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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