fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
