And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
