oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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