Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is the high leading the old right now
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
