He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
