You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
