Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Randomize
