it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
