you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
