Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
