Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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