I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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