Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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