i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he thought i was a dude.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
