There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
