i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
