Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
