he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
