I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
