your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
