OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
