you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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