college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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