It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
