Kiss
Puke
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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