he wants to bone in the snuggie
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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