i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How external is "for external use only"?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
