Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
