Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Holy shit dude........stairs
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