You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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