I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
