Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
