im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
