Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
