she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
