i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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