I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
