a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
