i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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