i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
