if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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