You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So squirting runs in the family.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
