I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
worst night to have a conscience
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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