Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
