it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
